Hi everyone, This may be a random and rambling post, so bear with me. I’ve got so many ideas swirling in my head about blog posts that it can be hard to capture one and write a few hundred words on it, so I’m just going to word-vomit and see where we end up. I don’t want to say life has been great lately, because some bad things have happened to loved ones and stress remains ever-present, but my outlook has been uncharacteristically cheery the past few weeks and I’ve been analysing why… To begin, I have been trying to take a noticeable hiatus from social media the past few weeks. No Facebook, no Youtube, no Pinterest, no Twitter (all vices of mine). After talking with a close friend, I realised a lot of my pressure and stress is self-induced in comparing myself with people I see online. I’d read a post about how someone achieved nirvana by getting up at 5AM to work or drinking hot lemon water in the morning or eating drinking mushroom coffee and would think, “well I should be doing all of that” (it’s always the should that gets me). Then when I wasn’t able to do XYZ for various reasons (such as real life and being on a student budget), I would be far too hard on myself and create this cycle of stress and anxiety. Social media is insidious in that it doesn’t say hey you should do this and that to be happy/fit/pretty/smart like a traditional tabloid (I’m looking at you, Cosmo), but the implication is there when you think about how many hundreds and thousands of followers these lifestyle influencers have. The fact that they work with brands for a living to advertise their products should make us all realise that their posted life isn’t authentic. But I get sucked into the same trap and it makes me want more and more and that makes me unhappy, anxious and stressed. And other social media sites (Twitter) can be stressful in their own ways. I use Twitter mainly professionally, and when I see other PhD students or academics posting about their most recent publication/presentation/award, I also compare myself and come up short (even though I’m doing awesome things too!!). Comparison is the thief of joy Not having been online for few week (messaging apps aside), I can say that cutting these out of my life has already helped clear away some stress and anxiety. I’m not saying I’m cool as a cucumber (because what PhD student is?), but it’s gotten rid of a lot of background noise in my head. I also feel like my focus is better, because my automatic reaction when I open the internet isn’t to open Facebook and be distracted until I feel guilty enough to start working. I also don’t feel like I’m missing much. Maybe I’ll enact a once-weekly catch-up on Facebook for 10 min or so – just to see who got engaged from high school and/or posted pictures of dogs/cats/etc. Another thing that’s improved my outlook has been gratitude journaling. I’ve started using Evernote to organise my life after I forgot several important meetings and tasks, and they have these clever Templates when you create a new notebook. I’ve got a notebook titled “General Life and Wellbeing” and one of my pages is based on their Gratitude Journal and Daily Recharge templates (see below). I don’t fill them out every day, but when I have time (or need a non-social media break), I jot down some thoughts into these journals and I feel so good afterwards. I’m rewiring my brain to focus on the positive instead of the negative, and it begets more positivity – now I’m living my life searching for positive things to put in my gratitude journal, rather than hyper-focussing on the negative things that typically overwhelm my psyche. I could write more, but I think this is a good place to stop. Thanks for reading this. I thought this blog would be more professional-minded, but lately I’ve been feeling most inspired (and less intimidated) writing about personal manners. I’m hoping to write about more academic-oriented topics soon – I think the perfectionist in me is nervous to put that bit of me out there. But I’ve been thinking a lot lately about lifestyle behaviour change, and one of these days I’ll share. What are your thoughts on social media and happiness? What do you do to stay happy during stressful times? -Audrey
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Author. About.Audrey Buelo. PhD student at the University of Edinburgh. (Mostly) professional and research-related musings - with the odd cat picture. Archives
April 2019
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